“…Sahya ahmat berbahngga dahpart parder hahree eeni burrchereetur sedeekit tentang purrchooteean sahya dee Lancaster. Minta maaf jeekurr pertuturan sahya sedikit… ahpa itu… you know, difficult to comprehend? Owh yes… mengelirookahn. Yes, indeed. Makloomlah. Saya soodah burrada dee England soodah enahm belahs tahoon ya?

“Sahya beloom purrnah menjurjack kahkee sahya di bahndar Lancaster dan morecambe. Sahya lebih sooker burrchootee di daerah sepurrti di Cotswold dahn the Lake District. Kerahna dee sahna teedahk ahda oreng-oreng low class. Ooooh. Sahya maymang teedak guhmar itu chavs, you know? Seteeburrnya sahya di Morecambe, kahmi terus purrgi ke Windermere. Hahti sahya sungguh gembeera kerana bowhlay purrgi jaooh dahree kahwasan chav itoo. Purrjahlanan hahnya mengambil err… 45 minutes. Cuaca hahree Sabtoo itoo sungguh baik surkahlee. The sun was absolutely gorgeous! Sahyang suhrkalee sahya loopa membahwa tohpi panama sahya. Kahlau ada lurrbih mahsa, sahya pahtut mencadahngkahn soopahya kiturr membawa picnic basket, yes? A glass of Pimm’s would go down very well… err… di hahri yahng chantek sebegeeni. Surlepahs mahkan ice cream, kahmi bertolahk ke Lancaster for some dinner. Mahkanahn India di restaurant Sultan of Lancaster sungguh lahzart surkalee. Walaupoon surrdeekit… how do you say hot? Purr-dahs. Yes. Walaupoon purrdahs, sahya turtahp rahsur ahyam madras mereka sungguh succulent.

“Pahdurr aysohk hahrinya, kahmi ke Morecambe kurahna ada flea market. Owh, sahya jarang ke tempaht-tempaht sepurrti eeni. Sahya rasa mahcharm shopping di Oxfam, you know? Sahya selalu memburrli clothes sahya di Knightsbridge. Walaubahguymahnapoon, sahya memburrli CD Sting. Sound lyrics from such a brilliant chap, I say! Kahmi poon berarnsoor… is that right? Berarnsoor ke Morecambe town untuk mengambil ahngin laut yahng soongguh nyahman. Reminds me of my public school days in Brighton! Kahmee bergarmbar dengan pahtung Eric Morecambe, seowreng pelahwak yahng soodah meninggahl doonia. Di sitoo, terdahpart seboowah kedai buku-buku lahma. That chap who runs the shop is very bright indeed! Dia bowleh ingart di mahna dia seemparn all the books. I’m sure he’ll get into Oxford tarnpa soosah-paryah. Rakan-rakan sahya membeli booku. Sahya? Owh. Sahya teedark ahda marsa kerahna bahnyak booku di roomah yang beloom di bahca.

“Petang itoo kahmi pun kembahli ke Lancaster oontuk birthday barbecue rahkan saya. Mahkanan sungguh bahnyak dan semuanya lahzat surrkali. Sejam kemudian, hujan poon turoon. kahmi poon lahri burrtempiaran. Ini mungkin kerana hahri Isnin tennis in Wimbledon ahkan bermoola. Reminds me that i should call Rupert for tickets. Where was i? Owh ya. Walaupoon hoojan, kami burrteduh di tepi quadrangle dan menikmati the most scrumptious chocolate birthday cake ever. Compliments to the chef, I say. Rah! Petang itu, surlepahs makan like itu you know… sahya poon meminta deeri untook bahlik ke Sheffield. Boolan durrpahn, kahmi ahkan burrjoompa di kota London. That is such a splendid idea!”

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It is not known whether this account of a weekend break was made by the same Malaysian man interviewed by TV3 in front of the Royal Albert Hall before the recent Siti Nurhaliza concert.