by the neon
“WHAT?! You got yourself an eight hundred quid guitar? Are you out of your fucking mind?!!â€
That was my then girlfriend’s initial reaction when I told her of, what I personally thought, the good news. Maybe to such a guitar-inclined audience, eight hundred squids for a guitar may seem like chump change. My purchase, however, managed to give meself a generous helping of scathing remarks and are-you-really-that-stupid? looks. It didn’t matter to me because I, sir, was in love. Yes.
We’ve seen fads, both in music and musical equipment. Remember how, in the early nineties, everyone wanted a Ja(g)zzstangmaster of some sort because Cobain had one? And can you recall the time when every kid had some kind of patch-job, Marley-wannabe dreadlocks and slung a 7-string Ibanez as low as their knees (I can imagine Lmsn Rds shifting uneasily in his chair at the mention of this)? Or fairly recently, the image of Avril Lavigne smashing a PRS into the windshield of a car.
Is this rock?
Can we frame that moment alongside the immortal gig at Monterey where Hendrix lit his strat at the height of psychedelic orgasm? Or when Page whipped out a bow and used it to play his Les Paul, creating a sonic spin-wash cleansing our dirtied souls? Do we honestly think Miss Lavigne deserves a place in the pantheon reserved for The Gods of Rock after what she did to the PRS in that video?
“Hell, no! Don’t you dare call that thing by my name. Uh-uh!â€, was what she said when I wanted to name the guitar ‘lissa, after her.
I wanted something pure. A guitar that carries the legacy. Of course, you have a lot of good guitars with technological fancy-schmancy and a bit of digital-age capability thrown in for good measure these days, but I wanted something basic, lo-fi and solid. So that I don’t have to think about what the countless knobs do, and concentrate more on playing the instrument. I thought only three classic designs made the cut – the Gibson Les Paul, the Fender Stratocaster and the Fender Telecaster.
While I like the LP’s easy-ish playability, sometimes it can get too comfortable. The reason it was ruled out was mainly due to, if nothing else, cost. hehe. It also weighed a ton. It’s an excellent guitar with a really fast neck, but if you were in a sinking ship, it’d have to be one of the first things to go. Moreover, LPs utilise a mahogany neck/rosewood fingerboard combination, and nothing is cooler than fretwear, man! Have a look at E.C.’s Brownie: the first to twelfth frets are completely destroyed!
“You sure I can’t call her ‘lissa?â€
“You’re talking as if it’s a real person.â€
“Well, I like the guitar a lot. Her and that ’67 GT Shelby in that Nicolas Cage movie. That’s a classy car.â€
“What did he call the car in the movie again?â€
“Eleanor.â€
“Name it that, then. That’s a good name.â€
It wasn’t much of a showdown between the strat and the tele either. At the time, I was head over heels over the two Jonnys – 19-year old (now 23 – Ed.) blues prodigy, Lang; and the most creative, original and influential pop guitarist of my generation, Greenwood of Radiohead. They both swear by Teles. Greenwood does occasionally use a Starcaster, but he wouldn’t touch anything else other than his prized maple neck, three-tone sunburst American tele. that’s what I got for myself.
I didn’t particularly enjoy my first experience with Eleanor at the guitar shop. She was tough. Unforgiving. Cold. She didn’t sing at all. As I plucked her nervously, she only seemed to squawk all the wrong notes I was playing; an AC30 amplifying these mistakes by, what it seemed, a hundred times louder. Even the wrong notes had clarity. It was twangy, as teles are known to be. It had that chiming ring which gave arpeggios a glassy shimmer. It was my first time playing a tele and I rationalised that I was still adjusting. As I sat there strumming, and picking, and plucking, one thing was for sure – she was an instrument of outstanding, if not flawless, quality. Musical stagnancy would be a fault of my own, and not the equipment anymore.
I still wonder how the shop owner could’ve let a man of my technical prowess, or lack thereof, to walk out of his guitar shop with such a lethal musical weapon. It was like selling a Maserati to a Datuk. A Ferrari would’ve been fair, but a Maserati should only fall into the hands of the initiated. I digress.
I had to bring her to work with me on the first day because I was already late. I was a part-time janitor at an office complex. Heh, it took me close to a year and half: fifty quid a month. I felt more like a full-time janitor/part-time student most of the time. In the words of Chris Martin: nobody said it was easy.
That said, along with scorn from the dilettantes, I got something else – respect. A lot of fellow musicians and music-playing individuals complimented her looks and voice. Others thought I had a matured taste, whatever that meant. I will forever remember kudo as the guy who questioned, “siapa upstart yang beli American Standard Tele tu?â€. Lmsn Rds was a lot more condescending by saying things that were just fucking appalling, I honestly just want to forget. hehe.
Needless to say, both of them own a tele each now. If you haven’t had the privilege, and before you head straight for the strat/LP rack at your friendly neighbourhood guitar store, try a tele out. I think Fender got it right the first time, too.
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eleanor is a three-toned fender american standard telecaster with a C-shaped maple neck/fingerboard.
go here for the specs of a fender american standard telecaster.
Well done, The Neon.
Rockin’ post.
Got to try out a Tele, one day.
shouldve titled it tele melee. hahaha.
yeah, i want one of those too, olympic white – tapi yg kuning, not butterscotchavik
haha to me, tele does sounds awesome. Maybe because of its well-known ‘lipstick’ pickups that creates distinctive twangy sounds. If you ask me, what tele will I find my soul and mind engraved on, it will certainly be the ’72 Telecaster Deluxe. But, right now, I’m pretty much a strat guy and I’m trying to build my one and only strat out of some exotic woods.
Kudz,
you know why The Lion locked Eleanor in the tower doncha doncha???
And I think it is apt — reminisance of Beatles Eleanor Rigby and all 😉
OHHH sorry I didn’t read the Byline… Neon I meant and Hi great entry.
DAMNNN!!! You really posted it up! H. H. H.!!! I thought you were just kidding, man! Awww… rasa terharu.
Heh. Thanks a lot, bro. Appreciate the opportunity.
jim: Thanks, mate. Do try a Tele out! Dia macam… no frills guitar. Slab of wood. A neck. Some strings. Play.
Lisa: No, I don’t. Why did The Lion lock Eleanor in the tower? Who is The Lion?
tricksy: Lmsn’s got one. I think it’s some white colour when he bought it, tapi give it two years and the last time I saw it (a week back), it looked like a ’52 butterscotch!
wahh! excellent entry!!!!!
i wionder if i can do almost as good as . sigh…
i think i’ll leave the words to Neon & Kudo… ok x sayg? 😉
i need to do some ‘customizing’ before i post any pics/words… pls wait! 🙂
I will be the first to admit that I know sod all about guitars, tele schmeles or the likes of it.
However, I have to say that I just lurrrrve posts that use words like ‘dilettante’.
P/S: I see the 1000 decibel PINK shirt has been ‘toned down’ for this entry? *grin*
I have a strong feeling I know MDYam from somewhere… Only a selected few know about the PINK shirt…
I love em TELES!!
semua Teles pun aku suka…
std, custom, thinline…
I know nuts about guitars but I do know good (self-indulgent) writing when I see it. Never thought I’d see the day when the Neon would be quoting Chris Martin and saying big words like ‘dilettantes’ in the same piece. And all the tenses are in the right places! I’m so proud *sniff*
1. I thought 800 quid was for the amp?
2. PINK shirt looks no less Bangla-ish even in B&W.
3. Oh, to be an investment analyst/researcher/whatever it is they call you and have the times to write so much.
‘timeS’? Dunia ini sudah terbalik, nampaknya.
Also, Eleanor is much better than ‘Lolita’
the neon: congras. puji lagi lmsn rds pasal “52” butterscotch dia… 😉
RR: bro, hantar je, nanti aku tau la bikin.
nads: you should be proud. i only edited things like capitals, commas and semicolons. i even had to look up dilettante in a dictionary… see what reading booker prize-winning tomes can do to ya? 😆
oi oi… jeles kaa? 😉
The Neon: thumbs up! i forgot you have an ‘eleanor’. i also couldn’t help laughing when Mok mentioned the PINK shirt!! hohoho.. aahh..kelakar..:P
Oh, selama ni korang semua ingat Bahasa Inggeris ku bagai tongkang pecah tunggang terbalik la, eh? Siout! Hehehehe.
Nads:
1. that’s the FIRST eight hundred quid. i’ve spent almost 5000 quid on guitars/amps/effects. so there’s about SIX batches of eight hundred quids. and please, don’t you dare give me that ‘are-you-really-that-stupid?’ look. 😛
2. i don’t care. i still think i look quite hot in a pink floral shirt. hah!
3. kitorang ada this annual dinner thing this friday. so besides modelling, i have nought else to do… hahahaha!
Lmsn Rds: tak jeles, dude. pasal whatever it is, finish gitar SEMORANG punya tele adalah menggunakan polycarb, dan bukan nitrocell. kuning macam baby’s butt-erscotch pun tak guna. and tele kena masuk fender amp, beb! lagi2 kalau deluxe reverb ke, twin reverb ke… hohohoho…
General: i dah triple check ‘dilettante’ kat dictionary, and i *think* i used it correctly. salah, eh? sorry la…
bro, you used it correctly.
I don’t know s*** about guitars but I am bedazzled by your passion. You have my respect!
Flippin’ ‘eck!!! £800!!
neon: it wasnt meant for u, t’was for Kudz! for that “kau puji lagi ’52’ buttersotch dia”… 😉
…kau sememangnya EMO & PERASAN at the same time. daeyymmm!!! 😉
Lmsn: You know the earthing problem tu? Kalau aku main pakai Guitar–>Digitech–>Computer pun boleh rasa dia punya elektrick kat strings. Memang earthing problem rumah aku kot? And aku main pakai Cocaine semalam. Not Brownie.
hmm…
next week bring ur rigz to my place. kita jamm sikit2…
i’ll give u a call…
Neon,
Lion was King Henry II. He kept Eleanor locked in the tower bcos she has made so many attempts to overthrow him. And of course there is the other Eleanor – FDR’s wife who was actually running the country was he was President 😉
so you made an awesome choice to pick that name (though it is via Cage) Eleanor has always been a powerful entity 😉 in any existance!
Neon,
Takde la macam tongkang pecah, but if you had to take a whole day to edit “someone’s” book review because that “someone” couldn’t decide whether he wanted to use the past, present or future tense and opted for a random hodge-podge…well, make your own conclusions 😉
1. Almost 5000 QUID????!!!!!! Cis. Patutla I still haven’t gotten my wedding present
2. Dude. You think you look hot no matter what
3. Modelling. i will refrain from comment.
“Dilettante” was not only spelled, but used correctly as well. Bravo! Look like the “one word a day” sessions didn’t go to waste.
And I told you a dictionary was a good investment 😛
Kudz,
I thought you didn’t believe in capitals? 😀
re:Dilettante
I like how you used it Neon – it can be *read* either way 😉 haha very snarky!
replace snarky with sneaky – typo typo!!!
I have concluded that women are just way much smarter! Look at the pattern…
MEN (boys?):
1) Got to try out a Tele, one day.
2) haha to me, tele does sounds awesome.
3) I love em TELES!!
LADIES:
1) I just lurrrrve posts that use words like ‘dilettante’.
2) quoting Chris Martin and saying big words like ‘dilettantes’
3) re:Dilettante I like how you used it
I think I typed the word ‘Tele’ and/or ‘guitar’ about 50 times each, but you gorgeous, brilliant women just manage to find the one word, THAT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE GIST OF THE ARTICLE PUN.
Congratulations. 😀
Nads: Present coming soon. For baby jugak. HoHOHOhoHO… Introduce me as ‘The Neon Uncle’ to your baby. *pulls a muka momok*
General: It’s ‘THE’ Neon, ppl. ‘THE’. Don’t miss out the ‘THE’. Thanks.
If only you can solo like you write…. I wonder…? Ko berani nak lawan? Ha ha ha! (dengan nada Pu Yi sewaktu mengherdik Beatrix Kiddo) 😛
nads: the no capitals text are reserved for me, and me alone. 😉
lisa: and all along i thought you were talking about narnia. hehe.
the neon: hello, mr. fofuler. next entry please. and since you have captivated an audience, they’ll be expecting something good, if not better (lmsn rds: jgn takut. hantar je!!!!)
trabye: it’s pai mei lah. 🙂
hey I LOVE LOVE LOVE NARNIA!!! B
In fact, I can’t wait till Nabila can read so she can read it with me 🙂 Thing about blog is, you find out all these people who actually read the same book like you as a child (with same references) I think it is cool 😉
Trabye: Pa Mei (or as you would like to call ‘Pu Yi’) tak nak ajar aku… macam mana nak terrer??!!! Eh, next week, ah? Lmsn Rds free, so we go out and have some eat2, chat2.
General: It’s ‘THE’ Neon, ppl. ‘THE’. Don’t miss out the ‘THE’. Thanks.
Lord. He still goes on about the “THE”.
*wicked wink*
Err.. wot does ‘dilettante’ mean again? 😛
HAHAHAHA
Ceh! Baru nak riak dah kantol.. sesungguhnya riak itu tidak berlaku pada orang yg beriman… hahaha! I stand corrected!
THE neon (nak sangat ‘the’ tu): next week sounds good. Set it up and let me know.
ameen.