this was the first ever wedding that my family had to co-organise. the colour themes, the names of people for the tepung tawar, sorting out who gets to dine at the high table from our side of the family. it sounds all complicated but since the whole affair was made relatively simple, i can’t (or do not want to) imagine what it’d be like if the wedding had a guest-of-honour who was a politician or a sultan. yesterday and today’s affair were held at the bride’s house and our family’s will be this coming saturday. that will be interesting.
with military precision, everything fell into place yesterday afternoon. we were present in front of the surau on the dot before asar prayers, just like dad was when he married mom in simpang tiga, taiping, 37 years ago. the kadi was excellent, as there were no ridiculous questions in the form of a religious education viva voce exam (much to my brother’s relief). everything was laid out in writing and the lafaz was done sekali deh (in perak-speak). we exchanged gifts and i was put in a spot where i had to say a few words on behalf of the groom’s side of the family (our more eloquent uncle couldn’t make it). i was told by my now sister-in-law that my spoken bahasa was a tad skema, yet not too bad. after a hearty chat over a little pulut and some kuehs under the marquee, we headed off to base camp in gombak.
this morning, we left as a small convoy for base camp after some mutte roti at mosin’s. last minute duties were given and again, alhamdulillah, everything happened like clockwork. trabye was clad in the finest kuning raja songket. my aunt even lent him a pendant bearing the crest of the royal family of perak as the icing on the already yellow cake. accompanied by the kompang, we gently paraded into the house. this wedding reception didn’t waste any time with any fancy silat or toll collection (two thumbs up! – my kind of wedding!). after the tepung tawar ceremony (my first ever!), i got to dine at the high table. we took a few shots (an old mate of mine from sheffield was the official photographer) for posterity and headed home, leaving behind a member of the family, who is now an official laki orang, to bertandang for the next few days at his new family’s home.
in this day and age, i have become cynical with the marriage institution, especially among urban 21st century malays. i just cannot put it in words but that cynicism somehow faded away these past few days. without being preachy, i believe the ills we see now are due to a lack of communication. i don’t believe in a lavish wedding as i believe in the marriage. you cannot expect your spouse to be spot on, because (s)he ain’t a prefabricated condominium. the marriage is a journey and despite the bumps along the way, it won’t be too bad of a ride if things get worked out. lidah dan gigi lagikan tergigit.
till death do us part, as they say. perhaps there is hope for us single folk just yet.
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